Have yourself a Merry little Christmas, let your heart......
that song gives me a lump in my throat every year ever since that dreaded phone call 3 years ago on December 11
The anticipation of the season is filled with such mixed emotions. I am so excited for the season, to celebrate Jesus birth, to have special family time and activities, to snuggle in warm blankets by the fire and drink bliss in a cup, but deep down there is a raw sadness. The memories well up inside of me, the memories of that one Christmas season that was filled with so much sorrow, a plane ride filled with tears, an embrace with my family with one less member, the thought of a child without her mother. The knowing that I will never get to share this season with her again.
To think that was just 3 years ago, and we had only one little girl....
and now we have a family of 6
With a little guy in the mix
The Lord has blessed and healed our family in many ways, but I still miss her.
I wish she could see our family now
I still have dreams of her, ones that she returns but I don't know how to tell her that Norah is ours, and that I can't give her up now
They will always be there, those memories, those emotions.
I will hang her ornament every year
and the one from Norah's first Christmas
and I will always feel a wave of sadness and hurt
December 11 will always come and so will A life to continue,
one without her,
but one with a Loving God who sent his son, as a tiny baby to Save us
so someday I will get to see her agian